Bespectacled Views

I emailed this to our school magazine. At the time I just sent it off, but now that I read it I realize that I sound like such a pompous ass >.<
I know the password of that ID, I could just delete it off, it'll be like I never sent it in the first place. But I guess I'm gonna have to live with this. For in the end, what is our life if do not live with it?

My article for the magazine this year!
scrawled by Shrija Chavali on t' date o' Tharrrsdy, Novembarrr 11, 2010 roundabouts 5:37 in the evenin'


I have run out of ideas for a befitting title. I have contentiously settled on 'Knowing'. Any suggestions?



~



I cannot speak for anyone else but myself, but I feel that people generally have something to say only when their minds are stirred considerably. Something meaningful to say, I mean. Something lucid. For the past many weeks I have been feeling like I am in a bubble. Nothing is stirring my mind, conscience and soul. Nothing is affecting me enough to speak about it. The bubble scares me, for it makes me feel decisively disconnected from those around me; and yet, for this very reason, it oddly comforts me, for I feel exempted from the useless trauma that is accompanied by the equally useless trappings of an adolescent mind. Sometimes I feel glad that I do not have any pressing issues to deal with, or any tremendous secret to keep. Every night, my last thought before I drift off to sleep is of feeling immensely grateful and fortunate that I have a perfect, worry-free, simple and comforting life.



I believe I am blessed; for otherwise it would not have taken my seventeen years to realize that to get the best things in life, you need to work towards them. I have heard it being said many a time over the years but am truly registering only now – given my inherent aversion to dogma I am not surprised by this fact. Nevertheless this year has been a somewhat pleasant revelation thus far. Upon noticing my aforementioned aversion to dogma, and on further introspection – inspection of my retrospections - I realized that unless we move we will not be moved and unless we are moved we will remain forever frozen amongst our familiar delusions and will consequently never see all that life has to offer.



Thus, to redeem myself I decided to combat this shortcoming of mine by doing exactly what I was apprehensive of all along – I let go of my protective cover and immersed myself in this world. At least, that was what I thought I was doing. The resultant is an interesting observation. On being extra alert this year, I inadvertently stirred up a lot of the residual thoughts and memories stowed away in the vaults of my mind. This created a mini-deluge of sorts of all these thoughts and memories, making me hyper-alert and intensely aware of myself as a person. Psychologically, that is. And yet I do not know what I am to do with my life, my future..



However, I have come to believe that all that I have learnt this year will someday prove to be more important than all that I have laughed at and written off. As an occupational cynic, it is hugely ironic to me that in my fourteen years at this school I have only now taken the time to assimilate my education and organize my thoughts, memories, and mind. In essence, I have disillusioned myself successfully, but way overtime.



Now I realize that the number of regrets I shall be carrying forward will be far less significant than the knowledge that I will be carrying away from here on my way out. I came in with no baggage, and shall leave with a truck load. But guess what? Turns out I’ll be needing it where I am about to go.

"Sraiyanti has still not resumed blogging."