TRIPE.

N/B: Right. So I'm reposting this. Enough with the drafts, I say! This is still wholly relevant to me. Hence. Enjoy. 

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The following is an excerpt from an article I had the misfortune to chance upon today.

DON’T SCARE HIM AWAY!

There are a few things you should avoid in the initial days of your relationship. ** doles out some words of caution...
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It’s true that men hate being glued to their girlfriends 24*7. There are surely times when you might have been responsible for him walking miles away from you, without serving the notice period. We are not trying to play the gender blame game. But, there are certain do’s and don’ts in order to not drive that man away. If you want to be the woman with an edge in his life, act accordingly. Here are some ways how you could save him from going jittery about being with you.

• TRYING TOO HARD: A man knows what you’re in for when you do everything to make him happy. You might just be thinking he is loving it; we do not say he’s not. Who would not want that extra attention? But, when you keep pleasing him all the time, he might think it’s a major turn off. Never ever plan dinners for him, gift him with no occasion on hand, insist to show up even if he has just chipped a nail. All this would only lead to him taking advantage of you and lose your worth in his eyes.

• HE KNOWS YOUR CALLS AND DROPS ARE NEVER ACCIDENTAL: ‘Oops, it was you, but I tried calling X.’ or ‘Hey, did I leave my purse at your place?’, these are tricks he is pretty familiar with. You are not the first to team up with him in the game of love. And even if you are that numero uno in his life, he surely will have an intuition about the whole thing and then scoff at your silly tactics. Your motive is to be his love muffin, not the butt of his and his friend’s jokes.

• TALKING EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN: He is not the best person to talk about who mowed down your neighbour’s dog, or how many buckets your best friend cried when her boyfriend ditched her. At first he’ll think it is cute. But in a while, while you will be chattering about it all, he might consider it gibberish. Don’t be surprised if he’ll be busy imagining about going for that inhouse party and making merry, while you do the talking.

• STRIDING INTO HIS WORKPLACE: This is like a cardinal sin for a man, unless he is your groom-to-be. Never ever show up at his workplace. Not only would he be shocked at your action, he might even delete your name from his contact list. You would not want to be just an acquaintance with the man, would you? So the key is, always take it slow.

• SMITTEN BY LOVE; DON’T SHOW IT: Don’t be available at all times. You do not want to get into a situation when you keep nagging to your friends about how much you care and he doesn’t. Giving in too much and expecting him to give in more will just crumble your world down. Don’t always be the one making plans. If he is talking about going out to watch that match at his friends place, tell him what a great idea you think it is. If you can, do tell him about your outings with friends (include names of your guy friends too). Never give him the feel that it’s all about him.

It might be just me (I highly doubt it), but I find the urge to grouse at this.

1. It’s true that men hate being glued to their girlfriends 24*7.
Why else would they have girlfriends in the first place? First of all, I do not like the word. 'Girlfriend'. And I understand that it it being used in it's loosest sense here. Still. Who are these 'men'? Who are their 'girlfriends'? And how do you know it is TRUE?

2.There are surely times when you might have been responsible for him walking miles away from you, without serving the notice period.
"Notice period"? NOTICE PERIOD? But wait, I will get to that in a bit -- *in a bit* = MY notice period, if you will. Since that is CLEARLY how you have used this phrase here.
"There are surely times when you might have been responsible for him walking miles away from you" - so you're saying that by doing something, I would have inadvertently contributed towards the 'driving away' of 'my man'? It is not HIS fault at all, that he is 'walking miles away from me'? It is I who mechanically moved his legs FOR him, is that what you are saying? And, considering the undercurrent of reproof that I am sensing from this particular statement, are you implying that I must censor my actions, and thereby censor MYSELF, in so much that 'my man' will not be 'walking miles away from me'?
And now. Notice period. Because OF COURSE there must be a notice period. Just to make this contract official.

3.But, there are certain do’s and don’ts in order to not drive that man away. If you want to be the woman with an edge in his life, act accordingly. Here are some ways how you could save him from going jittery about being with you.
Yes.
OF COURSE there are "certain do's and don'ts" regarding this aspect of our lives, too.
I mean, it's not like we have any other do's and don'ts, or anything.
Just BRING ON THE RULES.
We're having too carefree a life, anyway.
We don't care about our men enough.
You are COMPLETELY right.
We should not drive him away.
Being our real selves is, of course, not going to be appreciated. It will make him "jittery about being with us".
Superficial and brain-dead people that men are, in general.
CLEARLY they are going to disapprove of everything we do, along with the rest of the society, because that is what they are supposed to do. RIGHT? They are MEN. CARE must be taken not to upset them.
And OF COURSE we want to be women with an edge.
I mean, the only way we can do that is by not being edgy, no?
Simple.
Isn't that what you are saying?

4.TRYING TOO HARD:
As if we already do not worry about that enough.
Since AEONS we have been brainwashed that it is the man who must 'make the first move'. Considering that every male-female interaction is an amalgamation of various moves from both parties. I mean, that's like, GIVEN.
So when we find somebody interesting, we must go out of our way to show him that he does not matter to us.
Correct?
That way, our 'worth' will be restored in his eyes.
For really, THAT is EXACTLY what would make us worthy persons.
Playing mind-games with somebody we care about more than anything in the world.

5."Your motive is to be his love muffin, not the butt of his and his friend’s jokes."
Motive.
Love muffin.
Butt of his and his friend's jokes.
These are the EXACT things that are supposed to run through my mind when I pick up a phone to talk to him. Is that what you are saying? Are you saying that I must not call him, but even more so, mustn't pretend to leave my purse at his place? Because I am not supposed to entertain in any forms of communication with him, disguised or otherwise? Because he might not be interested in what I might want to say? Which incidentally brings us to the next point.

5."TALKING EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN: He is not the best person to talk about who mowed down your neighbour’s dog, or how many buckets your best friend cried when her boyfriend ditched her. At first he’ll think it is cute. But in a while, while you will be chattering about it all, he might consider it gibberish. Don’t be surprised if he’ll be busy imagining about going for that inhouse party and making merry, while you do the talking."
No!
OF COURSE not!
How could you even SUGGEST that I'd turn to the one person whose views and thoughts I value the most, just so that I may finally share all that I feel wholly and unbiased, based on the confidence that he alone will understand and appreciate what I say?
He is REALLY not the first person I would turn to, in case of having something to say. Because really, what does HE know? He has the attention span of a baby squirrel, no? He'll probably just look at my face and think "Oh look. How cute. She actually cares about something." and then immediately think "Ok. This is boring. HOUSE PARTTAAAAAAYYYYYY!!"
Right?
Because THAT is the normal thought sequence of an urban male.
Or ANY MALE.

6. "SMITTEN BY LOVE; DON’T SHOW IT: Don’t be available at all times. You do not want to get into a situation when you keep nagging to your friends about how much you care and he doesn’t."  
Oh my. For that is EXACTLY what love is all about, isn't it?
"If you can, do tell him about your outings with friends (include names of your guy friends too)." 
Oh kind lady. You really think he'd care? That he's the type of guy who'd listen to what I say? How naive. For really, is not the entire point of making him jealous in this way only to get him to listen to what I say? What if he doesn't listen to me in the first place, babbling idiot that I am? I mean, I'm sorry, how could I have made such a gaffe - babbling idiots that WE are? Because are we both not WOMEN? And aren't women always looking out for each other? Your advice is so precious to me. I'm going to save this and pass it on to my daughter.