*AIKNOW DON'T SAY A WORD ABOUT THE TITLE JUST READ*
JUST when I'd thought I got it right FINALLY.
JUST when I decided that I've DECIDED for SURE that I've decided on my major in college.
Thoughts, I tell you.
Someone should kill them.
~
So I do it. I do the three years of literature, I continue to act, I learn to play the piano.
Then what?
I suppose it's simply my writing powers being burned out (Superman's flying powers NEVER burn out, do they? *sigh* I'm no Superman *banjo music* *Scrubs!*)on account of the EXCESSIVE slam book-testimonial writing today. But I'm SERIOUSLY starting to doubt some things.
Picture this --
I'm sitting in some office somewhere, facing a deadline, with my much-needed promotion/job at stake. And I. CAN'T. WRITE.
I just CAN'T write. I get all apathetic and SICK of writing and I lose my job and my house and my perfect balcony through which you can see nothing but the sky (it's a penthouse duh).
Then what?
Maybe I should just DO Economics?
But then. Picture THIS --
I'm sitting in my huge oversize stuffed armchair thing in front of a fireplace with Mozart playing in the back, wearing snug black pants and a nice cashmere sweater, glasses propped up on my nose, legs folded up, thick vellum diary on my lap, beautiful Mont Blanc pen in hand, the words just flowing from my mind onto paper..
And better still. My words being read by (not TOO many) *some* people. Fifty. Fifty people, reading my words. Being moved by them. Liking me. Liking my writing. Liking me AS A WRITER. Liking me as a person. Searching me out. Finding me. Sharing their thoughts with me.
But they're not my words. It's not my story.
Okay there's one thing you should know now. I chose my subjects in college (intermediate) and I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. I chose my major for graduation and I said to myself "You are fucking crazy for taking this". I chose my major for fucking MASTERS and I STILL curse myself. So whatever you choose, you'll never be happy with it. Not completely. Because honestly, majors are a stupid idea. You can never focus completely with all your interest on ONE area. Its just not possible. Everyone has ADD, maybe. Whatever the reason. Don't worry. Just pick what you want, deal with it, score in it and move on. I might not be exactly motivating you by this dumb comment but at least you'll know this will happen every time. Haha make yourself develop an interest and if you can't moan, whine, complain on your blog. Like I do.
ReplyDeleteMuch love.
Also, I LOVE the header.
ReplyDeleteI've already told you about the one step at a time thing. Which is clearly not something you want to subscribe to anytime soon I'm guessing. *I* think you should go for it. *I* think you're awesome. And *I* think I'm going to know a mighty famous writer someday (you,you). But that's just me. You're you. You can do anything.
ReplyDelete