Rigidly holding on to my soul
no one do I allow to come near
Making myself unintentionally cold
hurting those who to me are dear.
Like a fool I relentlessly pine
for something which I cannot thank-
someone whom I can call mine;
someone on whom I can bank.
But at the very first signs of interest
I (on reflex) doubly secure my guard
until the faint bond is forcibly stressed
and is broken, with disregard.
A fear of getting hurt might've led to this;
perhaps it was a step
towards ensuring solitary bliss
by making myself inept
to interact with someone, connect,
like every other person does -
and yet, I brood over and dissect
each word s/he utters.
And thus I continually berate myself,
an emotional masochist
continue to dream away all sense -
dream of being forbiddenly kiss'd.
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