I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

METAPHORICALLY, LITERALLY, FIGURATIVELY. IT'S ALL HERE BABY!
So it was my parents' wedding anniversary this Tuesday, and so we went to Pondicherry. 
But that. was not. the best. part.

I mean yes, all of it was pretty amazing, VERY AMAZING because
1. As soon as I got to the room I turned on my TV and The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button was playing.
Which seemed pretty awesome.
2. Then, The Proposal was playing.
Which kind of upped the awesome quotient by 10000000000000000000000045669883409%.
3. Then, we went out for dinner at my favourite restaurant.
4. And then this morning, as soon as I woke up and turned on the TV, BEAUTY AND THE BEST WAS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah ok it was not all just the TV ok? I don't know why it sounds like this here because the place was amazing, our driver was cute,and I bought stuff. But there's just something magical that happens when something you like is on on TV. I love TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But this is not even the point!
The point is, I HAD SUCH A DAWNING REALISATION ABOUT MYSELF ONE NIGHT. It was so shocking that I HAD to grab a book and pen and write it all down! Like I used to back when I wasn't, well.. what I've been for the past few months. It was like I was back in ninth again, just as I was about to sleep off, I kept thinking random things, and then BAM! CLARITY! But I didn't date-and-time it, which was STUPID of me, but I guess the excitement of it all got to me. I think it was the night of the 25th, at around 11.30ish pm, that I realised that -

I always thought that what I thought and what I felt were the same thing. I thought that what I feel was what I thought, and that hence my mind was essentially my heart, and soul, and my self. God knows I share my thoughts as often and erratically as they occur to me, and to whoever is accessible to me at the time (Sraiyanti, if you were here, I guess I would have never figured this all out!) - but those are the things that I am thinking, not the things that I am feeling! How can one critically assess their feelings? I've been claiming to do just that all this while when what I've been doing is sorting my thoughts! In essence, I know NOTHING about what I feel! And this makes SO MUCH SENSE out of all that has been happening to me, since before 10th, even! Because whenever somebody asks me something, I tell them what I THINK, and not what I FEEL! So much so that now I just don't know what it is that I feel most of the time. You know? It's like, I have to try extra hard to make sure that what I say is what I feel and not what I think. And the truth of it all is this: I, Shrija Chavali, know NOTHING about what I feel. I don't know what I feel about college, or life, or friendship, or trust, or faith. I think about all these things a whole lot, and you guys are testament to that yourselves, but frankly, I know nothing about any of it.

But the fact that I've identified this in itself is something, right? It is. I think it is. I do. I think it.
But I feel that this is going to make me a better person.

Oh, Sraiy, I keep blaming your absence for the crazy things I do because it's the easy way out, and you know it, and you endure it. You're amazing. Start blogging again already so I can pledge every one of my readers to you.

This is in fact only part of the awesome thing that I realised. There is a larger, more hilariously depressing episode, in true LWAP style. But you're just going to have to wait for it. Not like Barney asks you to, but still. Ouch, I know. Sorry, it was irresistible. Unlike Barney.