But when it's really sad is when there's a boy involved. Which in itself is seldom but I admit, it does tend to happen. You know, when there's a guy, and you're talking, and you're clicking madly, and then there's another girl, presumably a close friend - but not necessarily so; and she just somehow seems better than you because she says the things that you're thinking, that you know are real and true to yourself but just don't say it because you think it's all obvious, or that it's too precious to escape your mouth or whatever.
Which again is my problem. Not saying things because I want to keep them with me forever. Secrets? Not really. Collections. I suck at keeping secrets. Well, I don't but I feel like I do. But why are we even talking about that now? We're talking about my hoarding tendencies. That's EXACTLY what it is. Hoarding. I hoard my thoughts, my ideas, my everything.
Only from most people though. There are some people that know it all. Or at least, almost all.
And then there are the ones who mange to take me off guard and make me say things that I never thought I could say or think, much less feel.
I do think that a lot of things are obvious. A lot of things that seem noteworthy to others tend to be meh-ish to me. But there are so many, MANY things that aren't meh-ish AT ALL, WHATsoever. And I hoard them all. They're mine. My thoughts, my words. Like for instance, I can spill everything out, everything that's bothered me, all the little things that happened yesterday, the amazing time I had amidst purple clouds and brilliant lightning last night; I can tell you all about it. I can tell you all about it and make you understand it all. I can tell you all that what you're thinking is not what I meant for you to think when I said all of this, but why must I?
They're my words, my moments.
So what if you misconstrue it all?
So what if I never share with anybody the things that truly make me happy?
So what if I never share with anybody the things that make me feel nothing like a rock?
~~~
Oooh look:
Somethings you can't say. You just feel. I swear to god I *felt* something when I read this post. Something good and tingly. Not in a lesbianic, you're-turning-me-on kinda way but in a shit, i'm so proud of you way.
ReplyDeleteEnough said.
Wth you LIKE this?
ReplyDeleteAh! ISn't that why I dont talk about myself. I'll talk about anything and anyone but me. Thumbs up. Not, that I love the face that your potential friends get navigated away, but the feeling.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this.Something you have in your mind and are about to utter it,just then ur best friend says the exact thing before you.And steal the lime light away from you.It itches.Itches A lot :D
ReplyDeleteOoh yes that happens quite a lot. But see, the thing is, even if you write about something, and tell your story about something, others might make something else of it, or relate to it in a different way..but that doesn't take anything away from you. That moment, or story, will still be yours. So why not share it? =]
ReplyDeleteyou should say whatever comes to your mind! it's bound to be super awesome. then people will envy the opulence of your words. so yeah, next time you think of something really cool (which i'm pretty sure you always do), don't be afraid to say it out loud.
ReplyDeleteWHY DID THAT SOUND LIKE A PEP TALK
Aren't you guys great :) Thank you for these.
ReplyDelete