And while we're talking about weddings.

Ever since my mother first expressed her desire of 'marrying me off to the first guy that turns up' as soon as I turned twenty-two, I've been thinking of ways to repel every such suitor. The best (and only) idea I've come up with is this - a Questionnaire to Repel Questionable Men. I'm going to design it to scare away every horny mama's boy that could ever agree to such a ludicrous proposition in the first place.

I don't have a scanner -.- but I DO have a decent webcam that I don't know how to use. When I had Picasa I'd just take pictures there but then it got VIRULENT for some reason. So deal with this, ok?

SHRIJA CHAVALI'S

QUESTIONNAIRE TO REPEL 

QUESTIONABLE MEN

1. Will you sit with Shrija and watch all the chick-flick/Disney/feel-good movies she finds so comfortingly irresistible whenever they're on on TV? Yes No Sometimes Always    2. Will you kiss Shrija like Andrew and Max kissed Margaret and Penelope? Yes No Sometimes Always    3. Identify the persons mentioned in the previous question. (If you wish to stop here, you have the option to do so. Proceed at great peril to yourself.) I QUIT.    4. Shrija is known to eschew visits to the waxers whenever she feels a bout of feminism or simply loses track of such things. Will you be able to live with her, now that you are aware of this fact? Yes No Sometimes Always    5. Shrija loves babies, and will probably want lots, and in quick succession. What do you think? Yes No Sometimes Always    6. Shrija hates cricket. Or any other sport. Unless she's watching it with her father. Well? Yes No Sometimes Always    7. Shrija doesn't know a lot of things, but she feels and thinks about a good many of them. And she will share it with you as often and as constantly as a puppy with poor bladder control has accidents. What are you waiting for? Yes No Sometimes Always  8. Shrija loves family. She will pay attention when you introduce your aunt from your mother's cousin's husband's side, and will want to visit said aunt on her birthday.  Do it. Yes No Sometimes Always    9. Shrija sometimes grows sick of herself and feels empty inside. At times like this, she will be hurt and hurtful. She really isn't a nice person, but she's not so bad either. She might opt for kinky violent sex during these spells of nothingness just so that she may feel something.  Shrija is a freak and I am not selfless enough to shower her with the attention she clearly screams for. I want out already!

And thus will I successfully thwart every attempt of my mother's to marry me off. I mean, I'll only ask that they all do this questionnaire, and by the time they're done I'll be left to bask in my solitary awesomeness.

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That was all the second part of my realisation! I devised the questionnaire and everything that night. I might just do all of this, you know. But I highly doubt that my mum will do all of that, though. She just likes to see me flustered. Much like everybody else I know, actually. Ah, the life of a drama queen. I wish I were an actress. An exceptionally great one. A perfect mixture of every actresses' most powerful portrayals. Just imagine.

N/B: That last line was a Kareena Kapoor reference, from Jab We Met.

N/B-2: I AM SO KICKED THAT I HAVE CHECKBOXES IN THIS POST! HOW AWESOME ARE THEY?????????